A Kidz Guide to Staying Off the Naughty List
It’s been one of those years for me…in trouble, out of trouble, good kid, not so good. Like a lot of kids, I decided I’d better get my act together and start behaving a little better if I want Santa to bring some really cool stuff this year.
I have decided to “learn from my past” and give myself some suggestions to help me stay off the naughty list. Maybe you will learn a little something too…
1. Listen to your parents when they tell you not to touch the wall because it was just painted and the paint is still wet. As hard as this is to do, don’t do it. But, if you do touch the wall and get wet paint all over your hand, don’t wipe it on the nearest three things…the kitchen counter, dishwasher, and the dog.
2. Speaking of paint…do not help your dad with the rusty parts on his truck. House paint is different than car paint.
3. Don’t laugh when your mom falls down. Instead, help her pick up the 4 bags of groceries she dropped along with her purse and the car keys. Then pick up her shoe that flew off. After you‘ve done that, move your bike off the sidewalk because that really isn’t where it belongs.
4. Don’t lie when someone asks you if you ate the last brownie. Just remember, if the brownies were made correctly, they will stick to your teeth until you brush them.
5. Do not cheat on any test at school. The kid sitting next to you did not study either. You will find this out the hard way (FYI…the word “animal” does not contain any numbers).
6. Don’t use your dad’s hammer to fix anything. Hammers just wind up denting cars and getting you grounded.
7. Don’t tell your sister or brother they look like an iguana and take their last piece of gum, chew it for 10 seconds, spit it in their hair, and then walk away laughing. Moms and Dads everywhere see everything.
8. If you see an orange cat hanging around your house, do not bring it home and hide it in your closet hoping nobody will notice. Someone will notice…eventually.
9. Do not cut your hair, your brother or sister’s hair, your cousin’s hair, the dog’s hair, or the cat’s hair all in one day.
10. Do not leave empty chip bags in the pantry and then pretend you don’t know what your mom is talking about. She always knows what she’s talking about.
Well, those are my suggestions for staying off the naughty list. Hopefully, Santa will see that I’m trying to make an effort this year!